PYAAR KIYA TOH DARNA KYA? EXPLORING THE POLITICS OF LOVE AT IIT GANDHINAGAR

The concept of love has always been conceptualized as something which cannot be viewed through any terms and conditions, and yet it’s realized in the most filtered manner in the real world. To elaborate, if we look closely at the variables we usually consider before seriously dating someone, we could scrutinize the layers of filtering we do without consciously thinking. These determining factors involved in choosing one’s partner are either directly derived from societal norms or have been formed as criteria over the course of our lives through personal experiences intertwined with our corresponding political ideology and personal value system.

Politics is usually considered to reside outside the realm of our personal lives and is believed to have no direct impact on what decisions we make in our daily life. The truth seems to be far from this popular notion, and our survey allows us to conclude that politics is anywhere where there is some kind of power dynamic at work or at places where decisions are taken. Decisions as personal as the choice of a partner get influenced when there is a visible polarisation of opinions in society. As members of the same society, students also conform to the ideology of their choice. Therefore, to look closer and ensure honesty in responses, Awaam conducted an informal survey that was completely anonymous to get a statistically informed idea of the role of politics in love at IIT Gandhinagar. The survey consisted of close to 200 respondents who were registered students of IIT Gandhinagar. Given below are the most significant findings of our survey.

Does Love Really Know no Bounds?

Unlike the Shakespearean romanticisation of love, the current survey found that dating is definitively impacted by the political environment around the students. Nearly a fifth (20.7%) of the sample expressed reluctance towards dating someone from a different religion, and a similar proportion were hesitant towards having a partner whose political ideology did not match theirs. This represents the trickle-down effect of a highly polarised political environment which has begun to affect something as intimate as dating. As one participant elaborated on additional factors that determine dating preferences; “The political ideology, if she is kattar type of any religion then mid finger is only thing to her.” The participants were more accepting of dating someone from a different caste, socioeconomic status and linguistic community which implies that inter-religious dating still remains fairly taboo amongst the student community.

Is Love Truly Blind?

Almost half the sample was less open to dating someone from the queer community, and nearly a third of the sample was reluctant towards having a partner with moderate/severe mental health issues. This may hint towards the stigmatised nature of both the queer community and mental health in India today. Individuals may be unaware or uninformed about the nuances of having a partner who struggles with mental health due to a lack of representation about such relationships and how they should be navigated. Interestingly, both men (93%) and women (91%) were extremely open to dating a partner who earns more than them. This implies respect and equality for the partner’s occupation and ambitions which is rare considering the societal pressure for men to earn more than women and be the ‘providers’.

All’s FAIR in Love?

Only 28% of the women said that body type is an important factor of consideration while dating whereas 54% of the men reported that it was an important consideration. Similarly, one fifth of the female participants reported that complexion was an important factor in dating, whereas close to 40% of the men reported the same. This highlights important gender differences in the physical preferences of love and attraction, with men showing a higher proclivity towards stereotypical beauty conventions as compared to women.

Going through the important highlights of the survey, we can see that there are some crucial factors playing a determining role when it comes to making decisions about love. Moreover, there are reflections of anticipated gender differences, some concerning conformity to the stereotypical ideals of beauty and an alarming indifference towards individuals struggling with mental health problems. Although there is still a long way to go if we look at the acceptance of queer community but the numbers do imply that positive change has already begun. One thing is clear now that love is more than just love, it’s ‘complicated’ as the cliché declares.